The Power of Positive Encouragement
By Larry Hoskinson
Think about something for a minute. Imagine you are at work and your boss comes up to you with some higher ups from the corporate headquarters. He introduces you and then proceeds to tell the “big guys” that although you do show up to work each day, your work is not up to par, and you don’t seem to be all that interested in your job at all. These words embarrass, humiliate, and anger you to the core.
Now imagine this scenario, a parent comes in to a guitar lesson with their child and tells me, “He never practices and I can never tell what it is he’s supposed to be playing.” At this point I’ll glance at the student only to find him staring at his shoes completely devastated. We then go back into my studio where I will spend at least the next 20 minutes trying to convince this poor child that he is doing great, which leaves us about 10 minutes to focus on music.
The guitar is a very difficult instrument to play. Unlike the piano, which has a more or less percussive approach, the guitar requires that you place your fingers in just the right place to achieve a beautiful controlled sound. Just a slight misplacement will cause the note to sound dull or will create a buzzing sound. Any student of the guitar will tell you that this is very frustrating. The student who practices regularly can correct this problem in a relatively short amount of time.
This is where you, the parent, can help your child. Instead of saying, “You need to go practice your guitar. I’m not going keep paying for these lessons every week if you can’t play anything.” Try saying this, “Sweetheart, get your guitar and play a song for me so I can relax for a couple of minutes. I love to hear you play.” Nine times out of ten the child will gladly play for you. After this impromptu performance, shower your child with praise and encouragement. Say things like, “Wow that was awesome. You have been working so hard. Can you show me how you do that?” Most importantly, “I am so proud of you.” Be positive. ALWAYS be positive. Consider our old friend Mr. Rogers when he says, “Kids will coast for as long as they can until something excites them. Then they’ll give everything they’ve got until an adult squelches them.” You have to help them realize their potential is unlimited. This will build their confidence and self discipline that will carry them through the rest of their lives.
I give 100% to my students. I take my job very seriously. I try to give them the tools they need to succeed as musicians and individuals. I truly care deeply for my students. I know how important it is for children to have adults who encourage them and praise them. This gives them the confidence they need to develop their sense of self worth and satisfaction in a job well done. If you can help me with this not only will your money be well spent but your child will thank you later.
